Rocking Chair Design Idea

Questo post l’ho pubblicato sul mio profilo facebook esattamente un anno fa, in data 20 Dicembre 2009.

Bad, I feel very bad! My grandmother is awake now, with a tube into her throat and can neither speak nor move herself and her eyes are full of tears. They should do her the tracheostomy next week. She is cardiopathic and suffers from breathing insufficiencies. She is motionless and tied up on a bed in a reanimation department and no one can assist her and take care of her. She is alone. They only allow a person a day for an hour. You have to put each type of cover on yourself before entering. Your head, shoes, shirt have to be covered with the ugly green paper clothing and you have to put on plastic gloves and a mask. I visited her yesterday and couldn’t keep myself from crying. But I didn’t. I tried to be nice and strong for her to keep her quiet and secure. And it’s difficult. She wants to go home… I asked and said “yes”. Sometimes I think it should have been better to pass away instead of living like that! But she is so strong and wants to tear down her “handcuffs” and you feel impotent and would like to shout and cry to save her from that ugly and sad place! It doesn’t pass a minute during my day without thinking about her. Dunno what doing and thinking, I want to bring her home, she should die surrounded by the people she loves. I love her SO much, she is my second mom, the one who taught me to be nice and kind, to love the others, the family values. And a piece of myself is dying now. I feel empty!

And my aunt had a violent fight with us (my father, sister, brother and with me, at the end). She came back home from a distant place, and began to go crazy without a motivation spitting out wicked words of hate and blaming us for her sickness. She, the one who has spent her life travelling around the world, marrying a rich man and thinking about the career, the one who has never lived with her mom and never do a cuddle, never said nice words to her, only reproaches . The insensitive and cold one! And she permits herself to blame someone? We have lived with her, we have talked with her, we have laughed with her. And when she needed something she asked us not her, who was once in Canada, once in Scotland, once in Africa… And now I think she is feeling the fault remorse, and wants to transfer her faults on my family! But she is wrong, and sad, and poor in her soul, with no children, with no human understanding. I think she should use her bills after using the toilet. She has left tonight, another time, living her mother in the hospital. We’ll do everything possible to go to her each day, me, my father, my mother ,my brother and sister. Instead she saw her mother for three minutes and then said “I cannot see her that way, I suffer, I have to leave!”. Good job! No matter if my grandmother needs her family around now, her daughter, she is so egoist that she only cares about her sadness.

My grandmother wouldn’t want to see us quarrelling… now we should be united to help her and help each other, but love, respect and forgiveness has to come from both the sides.

I try not to cry when I see her, I have to be strong, no matter if I suffer, my grandmother is alone now and needs psychological help. Each minute of my day I wonder what she is doing, if she has her eyes opened, and if she is crying….